If a friend or family member is struggling with depression, it’s not always easy to know how to help. You want to support them without being overbearing, offer comfort without minimizing their feelings, and provide hope without being dismissive. Learning more about depression, understanding what your loved one is going through, and finding effective ways to offer help can make a big difference and ensure they feel supported.
Signs of Depression to Watch for in a Loved One
Living with depression is like carrying a heavy weight that never seems to go away. It can impact every aspect of a person’s life, from their relationships and work performance to their physical health and daily routines.
Some common signs of depression include:
- Seeming sad or down more frequently
- Loss of interest in activities you know they once enjoyed
- Changes in appetite and weight
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Lack of energy, sleeping more or staying in more
- Expressing feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or self-blame
- Mentions of death or suicide
If you or a loved one is feeling suicidal or experiencing a mental health crisis, please reach out for immediate support by contacting your local emergency services, visiting your local emergency room, or calling/texting the National Crisis Hotline at 988.
12 Ways to Help Someone with Depression
Helping a depressed loved one can be frustrating or overwhelming at times, as sometimes it feels like there’s nothing you can do that will actually make a difference. Know that every check-in, invitation, and practical offering is incredibly important for your loved one’s healing.
Here are 12 ways you can help a loved one dealing with depression:
1. Learn More About Depression
There are many myths and misconceptions surrounding depression, from the idea that it’s just a case of the blues to the belief that someone can simply “snap out of it.” A couple of helpful resources to learn more about depression are The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and The American Psychological Association (APA).
By educating yourself, you can better understand what your loved one is going through and offer more effective support.
2. Start the Conversation & Ask Open-Ended Questions
Instead of telling them how they’re feeling, you could open up a conversation with a question that gives them the opportunity to share more if they’re ready.
You could ask questions like:
- I’ve noticed that you’ve been a little bit down recently, is there something on your mind?
- You mentioned that you’ve been going through a hard time, how are you feeling?
Don’t assume you know all the details of what’s going on. Instead, ask follow-up questions to really make sure you understand their situation and help them feel heard. Make sure your body language stays open and empathetic during the conversation.
3. Listen Without Judgement or the Need to Give Advice
Sometimes, the best way to help someone with depression is to simply listen. Avoid offering advice or trying to “fix” their problems, as this can feel invalidating to someone who is already trying their best. Instead, listen with empathy and without judgment. Let your loved one know that you are there for them, no matter what they’re going through.
4. Encourage Them to Seek Professional Help
Depression is a treatable condition, but it’s essential to seek professional treatment. Encourage your loved one to speak with a therapist or mental health professional and offer to support them in finding the right treatment for their needs.
Then, make sure they have everything they need to make treatment successful. You could offer to drive them to therapy sessions, ensure they have a quiet setup for telehealth, or do daily check-ins to confirm that they take their medication.
5. Help Establish a Routine
People with depression often have a hard time with daily care tasks. One way to make this easier is to come up with a daily rhythm that they don’t have to think about. Keep this loose and achievable, with every completed task a win.
6. Keep Inviting Them to Activities & Events
Invite them to join you on walks, outings, and other activities, but expect that they’ll likely refuse you more than usual. Tell them that it’s perfectly okay to say no to an invitation, but that you’ll keep asking because you care about them and want to spend time with them whenever they’re up for it.
7. Offer Practical Support
You could offer to help cook healthy meals (or just drop them off), fold some laundry, or get groceries. You could also look into helping them pick out a meal service for more long-term access to nourishing meals, or schedule a housekeeping service.
8. Check In Frequently (Even If They Don’t Respond)
Reminding your loved one that they are not alone can mean more than you know. Continuing to show up or just sending a kind text every so often can remind them that they’re less isolated than the depression is making them feel.
9. Create a Support Network Including More Than Just You
If you feel like you’re the only one helping, this could lead to burnout for you and/or isolation for your depressed loved one. Tap into your support network and find a few friends who can all check in on your loved one, take on a couple of house chores, and help you both remember that you’re cared for.
10. Help Them Explore Multiple Support Options
Beyond professional treatments like therapy and medication, there are lots of community and online resources available for people with depression. You could look into support groups at your local community center or therapy clinic, online forums where your loved one can find empathetic people to talk to, or other ways to cope, like mindfulness trainings or meditations specifically for depression.
11. Be Patient and Understanding
Working to manage the symptoms of depression takes time, and there may be setbacks along the way. Be patient with your loved one and understand that they are doing their best. Remind them that treatment takes time and remember to celebrate any small wins you see along the way.
Offer encouragement and support, but also respect their boundaries and give them space when needed.
12. Take Care of Yourself
Ever heard the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”? This is especially true when it comes to supporting someone with depression. Make sure to take care of your own physical and mental health, set boundaries, and seek mental health support for yourself if needed.
Contact Northeast Health Services Today
If you or a loved one is struggling with depression, know that help is available. Northeast Health Services offers comprehensive and compassionate treatment for depression in Massachusetts, and we are here to support you on your mental health journey.
If you’re ready to take the next step in your mental health journey, call 508.794.8711 or fill out a brief form to get connected to our team of empathetic mental health care experts. For existing clients, find your office location to contact your office directly.