It can be difficult to watch a friend or family member suffer. If you suspect your loved one may have depression, knowing the symptoms is the first step to getting them appropriate help. Signs of depression will be different for everyone, but they often include low mood, irritability, comments about feeling hopeless or worthless, or changes in sleep or appetite.

What Is Depression

Depression goes beyond the occasional feelings of sadness or blue moods; it’s a severe medical condition that impacts every aspect of an individual’s life. Typically, when people talk about depression, the clinical diagnosis would be major depressive disorder, characterized by a pervasive sense of sadness, a lack of interest in activities, and a range of emotional and physical problems. It significantly interferes with an individual’s ability to function at work, school, or home.

Other types of depression include:

• Persistent depressive disorder or dysthymia
• Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)
• Postpartum depression

Common Signs of Depression

If you suspect a loved one may be depressed, it may feel like they’ve slowly started to disappear. They may make excuses for not attending events, citing a lack of energy, or you might notice them eating or sleeping more or less than usual. Someone with depression could seem more irritable, or simply go “numb.”

Common signs and symptoms of major depressive disorder include:

• Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood: They may seem “low,” not like themself, or stop responding as frequently.
• Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism: They might make comments about how “nothing will get better” or respond negatively if someone makes a cheerful comment.
• Irritability or anger: Feeling on edge or grouchy more frequently.
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness: They might make negative self-directed comments, like “I can’t do anything right” or even “why are you hanging out with me.”
• Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities: They might stop going out as frequently or give up on other projects or activities that used to bring them joy.
• Decreased energy or fatigue: They might make excuses frequently for missing events due to how tired they are. Or you might see them spend more time in bed or on the couch.
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions: Depression can cause brain fog, making it harder for your loved one to remember recent events or make decisions.
• Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or oversleeping: Some depressed people sleep more while others have issues falling or staying asleep.
• Appetite and weight changes: Some may eat far less, citing not being hungry, while others may eat as a way to cope.
• Physical symptoms: People struggling with depression may also experience aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems without a clear physical cause.
• Thoughts of death or suicide: Suicidality is a common symptom of depression and should be taken very seriously.

If you or a loved one are feeling suicidal or experiencing a mental health crisis, please reach out for immediate support by contacting your local emergency services, visiting your local emergency room, or calling/texting the National Crisis Hotline at 988.

Signs of Depression in Men

Depression in men may be somewhat hidden due to stigma or slightly different presentation. Men may be less likely to discuss feelings of sadness or hopelessness, making it more difficult to recognize symptoms. They may also likely show higher rates of anger, irritability, or risk-taking compared to women with depression.

Signs of depression in men could include:¹

• Being easily frustrated or irritated, expressing anger at inappropriate times
• Difficulty concentrating and an overall lack of energy, loss of interest in things they used to enjoy
• Increased risky behaviors, like experimenting with or overusing alcohol, drugs, or gambling, or increased recklessness when driving
• Some men may throw themselves into work, exercise, or another project to distract themselves and have an excuse for socializing less
• Some men may become more aggressive, acting out as they struggle to “keep it together”

Signs of Depression in Women

Women are slightly more likely to experience a more “stereotypical version” of depression, with low mood being one of the key indicators.²

• Women are slightly more likely to experience changes to their appetite and weight compared with men
• They also have higher rates of sleep disturbances, either sleeping too much or dealing with insomnia
• Women may have hormone-related depression, such as PMDD or postpartum depression

Signs of Depression in Children & Teens

If you suspect your child might be depressed, some of the first signs could include lack of energy, sleeping more or less than they used to, and loss of interest in activities they previously enjoyed. It’s also common for depressed teens and children to start slipping academically.

A child or teen with depression might:³

• Lose their temper more frequently and become frustrated by small inconveniences or difficulties
• Struggle with performance at school
• Show signs of low self-esteem, saying things like “I can’t do this” or “it’s not worth it”
• Become withdrawn, numb, or indifferent
• Show changes in eating and sleeping

Signs of Depression in Older Adults

Unfortunately, depression in older adults can often get missed and go undiagnosed, as some of the symptoms may overlap with other conditions related to aging, such as fatigue and difficulty with memory.

Some signs of depression in older adults include:⁴

• Fatigue, loss of appetite, or sleep problems not caused by another medical condition
• Unexplained physical aches and pains
• Wanting to stay home and withdraw instead of socializing
• Have issues with memory or personality changes not otherwise attributed to another condition
• Suicidal thinking or feeling (more common in older men)

How to Help Someone Struggling with Major Depression

Supporting someone who is going through depression requires patience, understanding, and care. It’s important to learn all you can about the symptoms they’re experiencing and encourage them to get professional support. Whatever you can do to lighten their load around the house or with other tasks on their plate can also help them feel less overwhelmed and give them more room to work through their symptoms.

Here are some ways to help a loved one dealing with depression:

• Listen and offer support: Be there to listen without judgment. Sometimes, simply knowing someone is there can make a big difference.
• Encourage treatment: Gently suggest seeking professional help. Explain that depression is a medical condition that can improve with treatment.
• Stay informed: Learn about depression to better understand what your loved one is going through.
• Help with everyday tasks: Depression can make even simple tasks feel overwhelming. Offering help with daily routines can provide relief.
• Be patient: Recovery from depression takes time. Continue offering support throughout their treatment and as symptoms fluctuate.

Understanding Suicide Risk

Suicidality is one symptom of depression, and any mention of suicide or wanting to die should be taken extremely seriously. Note that asking someone if they are thinking about suicide does not increase suicidal thoughts or behaviors, so if you suspect anything you should bring it up to them directly. If they mention any forms of suicidal thoughts or actions, be sure to connect them to emergency services right away.⁵

If you or a loved one are feeling suicidal or experiencing a mental health crisis, please reach out for immediate support by contacting your local emergency services, visiting your local emergency room, or calling/texting the National Crisis Hotline at 988.

Treatment Options for Depression

At Northeast Health Services, we recognize the profound impact major depression can have on individuals and their loved ones. Our dedicated mental health experts partner with clients through evaluation and treatment, blending compassion with expertise to ensure a personalized care plan.

Treatment for depression can include:

• Therapy: Therapy for depression can include a range of modalities, usually including some exercises based in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help people understand the connections between their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Therapy can help people untangle the causes of their depression and learn better coping strategies for dealing with symptoms.
• Medication: When deemed appropriate, medication for depression is often paired with therapy to help alleviate symptoms and boost mood.
• Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS): TMS is a non-drug method of boosting areas of the brain that may be underactive due to depressive symptoms. It’s very low-risk with few side effects, so it could be a good option for people who have not had success with medication.
• Spravato® nasal spray: Another option for those who don’t respond well to medication, Spravato® is a form of esketamine that is FDA-approved for difficult-to-treat depression, with people often finding relief from depression symptoms within several hours.

Our approach is community-focused and rooted in evidence-based practices. Our diverse team reflects our communities, enabling us to provide culturally sensitive care for individuals from all backgrounds.

Connect with Northeast Health Services & Get Depression Treatment in Massachusetts

Recognizing the symptoms of major depression in a loved one and taking steps to support them can be pivotal in their recovery journey. At Northeast Health Services, we lead with empathy and care while offering a complete range of treatments for depression at our clinics across Massachusetts.

If you’re ready to take the next step in your mental health journey, schedule your first appointment or call 508.794.8711 to talk more with our dedicated intake team. For existing clients, find your office location to contact them directly.

 

Footnotes:

1. Ogrodniczuk, J. S., & Oliffe, J. L. (2011). Men and depression. Canadian family physician Medecin de famille canadien, 57(2), 153–155. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3038800/
2. Cavanagh, Anna BA; Wilson, Coralie J. PhD; Kavanagh, David J. PhD; Caputi, Peter PhD. (2017). Differences in the Expression of Symptoms in Men Versus Women with Depression: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. Harvard Review of Psychiatry 25(1). 29-38. https://journals.lww.com/hrpjournal/abstract/2017/01000/differences_in_the_expression_of_symptoms_in_men.4.aspx
3. InformedHealth.org. (2024). Depression: Learn More – Depression in children and teenagers. Institute for Quality and Efficiency in Health Care (IQWiG). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK279290/
4. Mayo Clinic. Depression (major depressive disorder). https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20356007
5. National Institute of Mental Health. 5 Action Steps to Help Someone Having Thoughts of Suicide. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/5-action-steps-to-help-someone-having-thoughts-of-suicide