Feeling nervous before meeting new people or speaking in public is something most people can relate to. But if you often worry about how others see you, replay conversations in your head, or avoid situations where you might feel judged, you could be dealing with social anxiety. This condition affects daily life in very real ways, from work and school to friendships and family.
The good news is that there are practical steps you can take to make social situations feel easier. Here are five specific ways to cope with social anxiety.
1. Notice your body and use the 3-3-3 rule
When social anxiety shows up, it often affects your body. Your heart may race, your stomach may hurt, or you might feel shaky. One way to bring yourself back to the present is by using the 3-3-3 rule. Look around and name three things you see. Then, name three sounds you hear. Finally, move three parts of your body, such as your fingers, shoulders, or toes.
This quick technique gives your mind something concrete to focus on. It interrupts the spiral of “what if” thoughts and helps you calm your body’s stress response. The more you practice it, the easier it becomes to use in stressful situations.
2. Start small and build up
Living with social anxiety often means you avoid situations that feel uncomfortable. Over time, that can make the fear even stronger. Instead of avoiding everything, try starting small.
Examples might include:
- Saying hello to a coworker in the morning
- Asking a cashier how their day is going
- Sharing one thought or idea in a small meeting
- Attending a social event for a short time before leaving
Set simple, realistic goals. Each time you face a situation you would normally avoid, you train your brain to see that you can handle it. These small wins add up, and over time, they can make bigger challenges feel less overwhelming.
3. Challenge the thoughts that fuel anxiety
Social anxiety often comes from unhelpful thoughts. You may believe people are judging you harshly, or that if you make a mistake, everyone will notice. These thoughts feel real in the moment, but they are rarely true.
The next time an anxious thought pops up, pause and ask yourself: “What evidence do I have that this thought is true?” or “What would I say to a friend who felt this way?” Shifting your perspective takes practice, but it can help you break out of the cycle of self-criticism and fear.
Therapists at NEHS often use cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to help clients challenge these thought patterns. Working with a professional can give you strategies that are specific to your triggers and experiences.
4. Pay attention to what helps you feel balanced
There isn’t one single cause of social anxiety. It usually comes from a mix of factors, including family history, stressful life events, and personality traits. What matters most is noticing what makes symptoms better or worse for you.
Helpful habits might include:
- Getting regular exercise, even short daily walks
- Keeping a consistent sleep schedule
- Limiting caffeine and alcohol, which can increase anxiety
- Practicing mindfulness, deep breathing, or short meditation exercises
- Building downtime into your week so you are not always “on”
These daily habits give your body a stronger foundation so that social situations feel less intense.
5. Reach out for support
Coping with social anxiety does not mean you have to do it alone. Talking with a trusted friend or family member can help you feel less isolated. Joining a support group, either in person or online, can also remind you that others understand what you are going through.
Professional support is another powerful option. At Northeast Health Services, our team offers therapy and psychiatric medication management to help you manage symptoms and feel more confident in social situations. For some people, medication reduces the physical symptoms of anxiety, making it easier to practice new skills in therapy.
Moving forward with NEHS
Social anxiety can make everyday life feel smaller, but change is possible. By practicing grounding techniques like the 3-3-3 rule, facing situations in small steps, challenging unhelpful thoughts, and building healthy routines, you can take back control. With support from friends, family, or providers, you can create a life where social situations feel less like obstacles and more like opportunities.
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